A woman recently wrote to the local paper stating that the man she married six months ago was no longer the same man that she was married to now. She was contemplating divorce.
I was thinking merely one thing: And your point is…?
The underlying presupposition that this woman had was that this husband of hers was not supposed to change. Hmmm. Change. Such an interesting word. A word half of us are afraid of. Are humans not allowed to change? Is that even realistic? Does it happen in real life, people actually do not change? What is change?
I believe in the fluidity of human nature. In fact, I think that it is an empirical fact. People change. Period. I change. What this woman needs to realize is that all people change. Change is a good thing and a bad thing; it can mean that people are becoming “bad” or it can mean that people are becoming “good.”
What is of utmost importance for this woman to realize are two things: (1) All of love is an act of faith; and (2) people change. Because people change, it is inevitable that no conditions for love should exist. Period. If you are setting conditions which are unrealistic (for example, my husband will not ever become a police officer), you are predisposing yourself to disappointment. We all change. What you really mean to say is that you wish that people (like your husband) stayed the same—but they don’t. Because love is holistic this means a number of things. Love requires you to accept the person standing before you as existing in the past, present and the future. The holistic person is the person who is both the past and the future, the present and the future. People will be remembered for the sum total of all of their actions in the end. That means that the holistic person is only a true “person.” The only “real” person is a dead person; one who has been a person, one who left behind a history of his/her past, present and future. In other words, if you love somebody, you must acknowledge their past actions (or mistakes, if you will), their present actions, and their future actions (or plans thereof). This means that love is, by all means, very anti-rational and arational. Love is not rational. It falls into the realm of fairytale and make-believe. Why? Because love is based entirely—err, almost entirely—on faith. Love is an act of faith. This woman who is writing the paper is a complete idiot. Yup. She has failed her test exams in Existential Philosophy 101 class. This makes perfect sense—oh, the irony!—with God’s love, as revealed in the Scriptures. God’s love is covenantal. It is covenantal because people change but the words in the covenant do not. You swore to love this person, not based on rational reason, but based on faith. So, woman-who-wrote-the-paper, sorry, but you were duped into thinking that love was not an act of faith. (Not surprising, since science and pseudo-science had basically tossed the word faith out the window.) Well, I am ushering in a new age: Faith, meet People, and People, meet Faith. It’s about time!